Kiddo Blog in L.A. 2

Oh oh, I think I have asked too personal a question tonight to my dear Norton. I asked him about his family, he had no trouble telling me about his sister who lives with him, or that his parents are dead, but he blocked when I asked him about his other brothers and sisters, if any. What could it mean?

I already knew he had something going on about his family, since he did say before that his special someone would have to be understanding of friends and family. I wondered what he meant by that, and I am afraid to admit that this is what prompted my question.

And knowing myself, I will ask it again soon, embarrassing him even more. I should not, he will tell me in his own time. If I insist, I feel he might cut all bridges. It is one of these things that are very serious. What could it be?

First thing that came to my mind is that he has a brother in prison. Somehow I feel he could admit to that. Perhaps he has a sister in prison. That would be more difficult to say. Especially if she was there for something shameful, like, well, like what? Why do women go to prison for these days that is shameful?

Stealing is of no consequence, sexual abuse could be shameful enough, but somehow I don’t think this is it. People who have a rotten apple in the family, are usually quite capable of dissociating themselves with that member of the family and continue to live on ignoring that the person actually exists.

What could it be then? Mental illness? He said I had a lot of imagination tonight, I guess I just don’t have enough to figure that one out. I did a quick search on the Internet about shameful things about family members. One of them is incontinence or Female Bladder Control Problem. Again, I don’t believe that would be something to get you into depressing mode and send you into a spin whenever we mention it.

Actually, death is probably something that would do that. They are dead, or one is dead, and it has affected him terribly. He still feels a lot of pain, so it must be recent. And if he blocked tonight, it is because he did not want to get into it since he is sick and wanted to go to bed. That must be it.

I should be ashamed with myself! I think my life has become just a film script since I have arrived here, I can just imagined the weirdest and impossible things. But everyone knows that life is weirder than movies. I heard many people say that they often base their stories on true events, and have to tone it down for the films since it would be too unbelievable and people would buy into it.

I am also ashamed to say that the word pretentious came back a lot tonight in our conversations. Well done! One month in L.A., and I feel already so insecure, that I feel the need to boast about myself at every minute of any conversation. I should be shot for this, considering that I have nothing to boast about.

I hope he won’t hold it against me, I tried to correct that the best way I could, under the circumstances, I haven’t been convincing enough. He said that my pretentiousness was part of my charm, I hope he believes it.

There is another big worry here. He has kind of cancelled tomorrow, saying that he nearly froze to death waiting for the bus tonight, and the wind brought upon him all these particles which makes him sneeze. So now he has a cold. We’re in Los Angeles! Catching a cold waiting for a bus? If I had not frozen to death myself less than a week ago while visiting Universal Studios, I would not have believed him. And then it occurred to me that he could have easily invented any other story which would have been more credible.

So will I see him tomorrow or not? He will let me know in the morning. He seems to be a home bunny, so I guess any idea of a cold kills any motivation to get into a bus for two hours to cross 10 miles, and the thought that you will need to do it again to return home when you work the next day, and I will be lucky to see him once a week, on Sunday. And come to think of it, I would be lucky to even meet him once in this lifetime.

I also know now why I have been repeating myself a lot to him yesterday on the phone. I was so drunk the first time we spoke, and perhaps the second time as well, that I had forgotten a lot of what was said. I also went right over the fact that he had been quite sick on the last three years, in a coma actually. He was pushed down the stairs in a bar on New Year’s Eve, he does not know why or by whom, ended up in hospital and was virtually given up for dead. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best chance of recovery, he was classified as 1. Can’t believe I did not get into that subject then and did not remember about it tonight.

He was not drunk, and he has to take pills every day from fears to lose consciousness and never wake up again. Apparently a nerve has been severely damage and he has fainted over a dozen times in recent years. This is why he lost his job working with actors and now has a rotten job requiring little abilities. However he says he suffers no disability except that he cannot lie in job interviews since he could lose consciousness, and he has been discriminated against for years now. He did say that he was not happy about the government of California stating that he was 100% healthy, possibly for financial reasons, it suggests that he is not 100% OK. I bet this is why he does not have a car, which in these day and age, and especially in Los Angeles, is quite amazing. He said it is because he has no money, and his family helps him financially, however it could be because he can no longer drive, possibly because of the Californian State, caring as much as they do, could not let someone who could lose consciousness drive a car.

You know you are living in a paranoid state when at 33 years old they ask you for ID whenever you buy beers. I found it funny the first time, but now it is getting on my nerves. Do I look 16? Or do they ask ID to grandfathers as well? What else is this State paranoid about that I don’t know yet but will suffer from eventually? And the worse fact is that California must be the most liberated of all American States, then again, they voted for a Republican Governor. Obviously, probably, because the Republicans are so desperate to win California, that they hired an actor to play the part.

I digress from my topic of conversation, typical me. My blog is like a phone call to Norton, we can jump from topic to topic, at least there is no blank in our conversation. One favorite subject of ours is Sherlock Holmes, as his favorite film of all time is Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, I am watching it right now on my computer. Why is it his favorite? Because a friend sold to him a laser disc player and he inherited I supposed this laser film with the machine.

That is one way of getting into Sherlock Holmes, I discovered the books because my Manager in my first conference job gave me the book. This is a case of developing a new passion because of technology, and limitation of technology. Not many laser discs were made before these laser disc players died as if they never existed. So he must have watched them over and over again, until that film became his favorite of all time. Anything Sherlock Holmes turns to gold. Oh mighty Sir Arthur Conan Doyle has done it. My favorite of all time is the series of Sherlock Holmes played by Jeremy Brett, also my favorite actor.

And on this note, I will go to bed, just in case Norton comes over tomorrow. I doubt it, even if I would love to. However this is more like a love story, and I admit that love does not require sex at the beginning. Only preliminaries that can last weeks. It is like an investment for the future. I am not that desperate for sex anyway, the thought that he exists, that he cares for me, that he calls without fault every day, is ample for me, for the moment.

Oh, before I turn the computer off. One thing he has said that could definitely be a lie. Especially that it even contradicts things he said before, according to my blog. He has met two persons in the recent months before but he claims they did not have sex, as there was no connection. He apparently did not have sex for more than a year, perhaps more. It would be too good to be true, but highly improbable, since he claims he loves sex anytime anywhere, and certainly talks about it a lot on the phone.

Something interesting though, if he really met two guys and decided to not go any further with them, maybe he is afraid of meeting me for some reason. I have not lied to him, I showed him my recent photos. Now, perhaps he is also afraid that I might reject him, and the two other guys perhaps rejected him. I don’t believe so, but his photo is at least three years old, it predates his serious accident. Could he have changed? He says he still looks the same, that he is still slim. I’m not worried anyway, but he could be holding back meeting me until he is sure I am hooked by his personality and charm, as far as I can find out from our phone conversations, that is.

We’ll soon find out, or would we?