Kiddo Blog in L.A. 4
It is lunch time. I fear I might lose Norton. He said he was quite direct and when he is not interested he says so right away. Well, yesterday was a bit of that. And today he is online on that dating website. Not sure what he is doing there, he is not reading my blog or visiting my page, as far as I can tell.
I thought of not calling him tonight, to see if he will. I don’t want to play mind games and I don’t want to lose him. We have not met yet, so he could still decide to walk away. So I will call him and see what happens.
He says he never lies, and yet, that he did not have sex in a year, being on a dating website like that, should have sent me the alarm bell. I would not want to jump to conclusions too quickly, it is just that I am very insecure. Perhaps also I should not dream to start a new relationship on a website like that. Maybe it is just a crazy idea. I am faithful to him right now, I still think he is, but I think he also has an addiction to porn on that dating website, and this could also just be normal.
I have porn myself here, I risked bringing it over to the United States. I would have had a hard time justifying this at the customs. But it went well… I guess they are more worried about plastic knife these days than CDs.
I need to go back to work. Oh Norton! What are you doing to me! I hope we will meet this weekend, otherwise I think I will just forget about him and try my luck elsewhere.
It is 18h27, and Norton is still online!!! It makes no sense! Is he at work or at home? Has he been home all day? He sometimes does not work on week days. He did say he could only use the computer when his sister was not there, she works full time but arrives home early. Being online all day means that he opened his profile and left it on. I hope. Otherwise, he is more addict to porn than I thought, or he is actively looking for sex with cuties around where he lives. 17 miles separate us after all, in public transport that is a big de-motivation.
Following what happened today, I decided not to call him tonight. My first idea was that perhaps I was there in his life too much. He needs some breathing space. And then I kind of reaffirmed my independence. I don’t need him and I can survive without him. I’m already in the process of flushing him out of my life and system. So I won’t call him tonight, I will study for my driving exam on Friday instead. Hopefully he will call, otherwise, I guess it is over. And I will need to live with it. Sooner is better than later, as would say Mila Jovovich in Joan of Arc. It’s over! As would say Morrissey. Sad I never even met the guy! Better be over now than in a few weeks time. As I would say, since no one said that as a memorable expression, to my knowledge.
In a way, I would feel a bit more liberated. I owe nothing to this guy, why should I be faithful when I could meet anyone else in town? It is quite tempting. Short of catching bugs… and not have someone to call every day to reassure me in my crisis… there are definite advantages to have Norton on my side. He seems to have a very nice and unusual personality. He says he feels the same about me, and that he is interested in a relationship with me even though I’m not one of the cuties without a brain. Let’s give him until the weekend to make a move.
It is now 22h26. Norton has not called. I dare not go and see if he is online on that dating website. I just checked, he is no longer online. Either he has met someone or his sister came back and he finally turned off the computer, whether or not he was surfing most of the day. Considering that he was on the dating website today, I think he won’t call. And for the same reason, I won’t either.
God, I had the time to finish reading the Californian Driver’s Handbook tonight, I thought I would never get the chance since we were spending so much time on the phone. I guess it is reasonable for his to still want a life. I am now going to read the online tutorial of the driving test… oh someone please shoot me!
It is the third time, yes you have heard, the third time I had to pass my driving license! Once in Canada, once in England and now in California. Can’t the U.N. come up with a standard international test for all countries and states? At the very least I should not have to do the behind the wheel test! I have been driving for 17 years!
I have noted that one third of the Californian Driving Manual is about Drink and Driving and the consequences and punishments. Way to go, paranoid state! And if you are under 21, beware, they don’t want you to drive and they will severely punish you for any infraction. On top of it, you can have to wait another year before having your driving license, or lose it at any time, for infraction not related to driving or the road.
Whose in charge of these rules and regulations? We should pass them all, one by one, to a general population vote. I would only be prepared to accept this madness if I was certain that more than 50% of the population supports it. However, I would not be surprised to find out that most Californians would support even harsher rules and regulations, if it was possible. Because people have gone crazy. As simple as that, no other explanation.
It is now 23h39. One look at the photo of my little Norton, and I bitterly regret not having called him tonight. It is now too late to call. He is worth it, I will him tomorrow. And now I am debating whether I should send him a text message. I think I will. Well, I can’t, my mobile is still set for the UK for the text messages. That settles it.
Let’s just hope that tomorrow he will be willing to speak. If not, then the message could not be any clearer. And I will get it. And then, he can spend as much time as he wants on the dating website, I’m sure with a bit of luck it won’t be another year before he meets someone up to his standards. I just wish then that these people would not just let you believe all that crap just before letting you down. I never experienced that before, which is why I still give him the benefit of the doubt. Tomorrow night everything will be back to normal, we’ll have a long conversation and I will understand that I was worrying for nothing.
I thought of not calling him tonight, to see if he will. I don’t want to play mind games and I don’t want to lose him. We have not met yet, so he could still decide to walk away. So I will call him and see what happens.
He says he never lies, and yet, that he did not have sex in a year, being on a dating website like that, should have sent me the alarm bell. I would not want to jump to conclusions too quickly, it is just that I am very insecure. Perhaps also I should not dream to start a new relationship on a website like that. Maybe it is just a crazy idea. I am faithful to him right now, I still think he is, but I think he also has an addiction to porn on that dating website, and this could also just be normal.
I have porn myself here, I risked bringing it over to the United States. I would have had a hard time justifying this at the customs. But it went well… I guess they are more worried about plastic knife these days than CDs.
I need to go back to work. Oh Norton! What are you doing to me! I hope we will meet this weekend, otherwise I think I will just forget about him and try my luck elsewhere.
It is 18h27, and Norton is still online!!! It makes no sense! Is he at work or at home? Has he been home all day? He sometimes does not work on week days. He did say he could only use the computer when his sister was not there, she works full time but arrives home early. Being online all day means that he opened his profile and left it on. I hope. Otherwise, he is more addict to porn than I thought, or he is actively looking for sex with cuties around where he lives. 17 miles separate us after all, in public transport that is a big de-motivation.
Following what happened today, I decided not to call him tonight. My first idea was that perhaps I was there in his life too much. He needs some breathing space. And then I kind of reaffirmed my independence. I don’t need him and I can survive without him. I’m already in the process of flushing him out of my life and system. So I won’t call him tonight, I will study for my driving exam on Friday instead. Hopefully he will call, otherwise, I guess it is over. And I will need to live with it. Sooner is better than later, as would say Mila Jovovich in Joan of Arc. It’s over! As would say Morrissey. Sad I never even met the guy! Better be over now than in a few weeks time. As I would say, since no one said that as a memorable expression, to my knowledge.
In a way, I would feel a bit more liberated. I owe nothing to this guy, why should I be faithful when I could meet anyone else in town? It is quite tempting. Short of catching bugs… and not have someone to call every day to reassure me in my crisis… there are definite advantages to have Norton on my side. He seems to have a very nice and unusual personality. He says he feels the same about me, and that he is interested in a relationship with me even though I’m not one of the cuties without a brain. Let’s give him until the weekend to make a move.
It is now 22h26. Norton has not called. I dare not go and see if he is online on that dating website. I just checked, he is no longer online. Either he has met someone or his sister came back and he finally turned off the computer, whether or not he was surfing most of the day. Considering that he was on the dating website today, I think he won’t call. And for the same reason, I won’t either.
God, I had the time to finish reading the Californian Driver’s Handbook tonight, I thought I would never get the chance since we were spending so much time on the phone. I guess it is reasonable for his to still want a life. I am now going to read the online tutorial of the driving test… oh someone please shoot me!
It is the third time, yes you have heard, the third time I had to pass my driving license! Once in Canada, once in England and now in California. Can’t the U.N. come up with a standard international test for all countries and states? At the very least I should not have to do the behind the wheel test! I have been driving for 17 years!
I have noted that one third of the Californian Driving Manual is about Drink and Driving and the consequences and punishments. Way to go, paranoid state! And if you are under 21, beware, they don’t want you to drive and they will severely punish you for any infraction. On top of it, you can have to wait another year before having your driving license, or lose it at any time, for infraction not related to driving or the road.
Whose in charge of these rules and regulations? We should pass them all, one by one, to a general population vote. I would only be prepared to accept this madness if I was certain that more than 50% of the population supports it. However, I would not be surprised to find out that most Californians would support even harsher rules and regulations, if it was possible. Because people have gone crazy. As simple as that, no other explanation.
It is now 23h39. One look at the photo of my little Norton, and I bitterly regret not having called him tonight. It is now too late to call. He is worth it, I will him tomorrow. And now I am debating whether I should send him a text message. I think I will. Well, I can’t, my mobile is still set for the UK for the text messages. That settles it.
Let’s just hope that tomorrow he will be willing to speak. If not, then the message could not be any clearer. And I will get it. And then, he can spend as much time as he wants on the dating website, I’m sure with a bit of luck it won’t be another year before he meets someone up to his standards. I just wish then that these people would not just let you believe all that crap just before letting you down. I never experienced that before, which is why I still give him the benefit of the doubt. Tomorrow night everything will be back to normal, we’ll have a long conversation and I will understand that I was worrying for nothing.
posted by Mycroft Holmes @ 11:32 AM
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