Kiddo Blog in L.A. 6
The one sentence in the song Nothing’s Impossible from Depeche Mode that was not applicable to me is:
I still believe in love at first sight
Nothing's impossible
My Norton. Whom I fell in love with without even having met him. A photo. If this is not first sight, what is? Same for him, if I can believe what he said tonight on the phone. He would not bullshit me, would he? He had plenty of opportunities to tell me to get lost.
On the contrary, another long phone conversation tonight is very much a contradiction to everything I had been thinking lately, as I felt he was trying to avoid speaking with me on the phone. And now it looks like he might work on Sunday. I cannot accuse him of trying to not meet me again, unless he is inventing it and he is not working. Which I doubt.
Perhaps he has something to hide. It could explain why he wishes to make sure I am really biting the bait before meeting me. It would make things easier if it was the case, I doubt what it is that he hides is that bad anyway. And on the phone, his voice, it is so comforting, so reassuring. His personality is so wonderful, everything about him.
And I know he is still slim, his ID has been verified along with his weight and height. Maybe as he said, it has just been bad luck from the start. In the meantime we have developed quite a love relationship at a distance. It must mean something.
My biggest pain is the pain I would cause Stephen by going any further with Norton. I would so hate to have to tell him that it is over, I’ve met someone else in Los Angeles, why don’t you die alone in London or meet one of these cuties that you told me were buzzing around you at work? It would destroy him, and me as well, as I do love him, as I did for the last ten years.
It might not come to that, at this time I don’t need to think too much about it. The chances it would actually work with Norton are very slim indeed. I would be lucky to even hold him in my arms for one night. I’m afraid of how he will react, because I’m very much under his spell and I would cuddle him as if I would like to melt into him. He might not be prepared for that.
I’m too ready to just fall head over heels, and become his slave. However I don’t need much to get back to reality and accept that none of this is real or would ever be, despite his nice words to the contrary.
So cheer up people, it might never come to that. With any luck this is just something to help me survive the loneliness in L.A., it won’t work out, and Stephen will come over. And we will be happy for ever after…
That would also be acceptable. With a bit more sex than what we have been used to, or even affection.
Well, if I succeed this trade in, almost as if I was speaking of a car, I would be very lucky indeed. My third boyfriend might be my best yet, physically and mentally, and they’ve all been great. I never thought it possible that I could strike a third time lucky, and perhaps experience something even better.
Of course, perhaps all of this is just in my imagination, but it looks like it could become real. And I don’t remember having wished for it consciously either, must have been unconscious. But it still works, you can dream the life you want and it happens. So let’s wish a lot of happiness, at work as well. Let’s change our attitude and start to finally enjoy this life in Los Angeles. I do a little bit more every time I speak with my kiddo. Could it be that simple? Throw a little bit of love into the equation? Was Freud right?
I still believe in love at first sight
Nothing's impossible
My Norton. Whom I fell in love with without even having met him. A photo. If this is not first sight, what is? Same for him, if I can believe what he said tonight on the phone. He would not bullshit me, would he? He had plenty of opportunities to tell me to get lost.
On the contrary, another long phone conversation tonight is very much a contradiction to everything I had been thinking lately, as I felt he was trying to avoid speaking with me on the phone. And now it looks like he might work on Sunday. I cannot accuse him of trying to not meet me again, unless he is inventing it and he is not working. Which I doubt.
Perhaps he has something to hide. It could explain why he wishes to make sure I am really biting the bait before meeting me. It would make things easier if it was the case, I doubt what it is that he hides is that bad anyway. And on the phone, his voice, it is so comforting, so reassuring. His personality is so wonderful, everything about him.
And I know he is still slim, his ID has been verified along with his weight and height. Maybe as he said, it has just been bad luck from the start. In the meantime we have developed quite a love relationship at a distance. It must mean something.
My biggest pain is the pain I would cause Stephen by going any further with Norton. I would so hate to have to tell him that it is over, I’ve met someone else in Los Angeles, why don’t you die alone in London or meet one of these cuties that you told me were buzzing around you at work? It would destroy him, and me as well, as I do love him, as I did for the last ten years.
It might not come to that, at this time I don’t need to think too much about it. The chances it would actually work with Norton are very slim indeed. I would be lucky to even hold him in my arms for one night. I’m afraid of how he will react, because I’m very much under his spell and I would cuddle him as if I would like to melt into him. He might not be prepared for that.
I’m too ready to just fall head over heels, and become his slave. However I don’t need much to get back to reality and accept that none of this is real or would ever be, despite his nice words to the contrary.
So cheer up people, it might never come to that. With any luck this is just something to help me survive the loneliness in L.A., it won’t work out, and Stephen will come over. And we will be happy for ever after…
That would also be acceptable. With a bit more sex than what we have been used to, or even affection.
Well, if I succeed this trade in, almost as if I was speaking of a car, I would be very lucky indeed. My third boyfriend might be my best yet, physically and mentally, and they’ve all been great. I never thought it possible that I could strike a third time lucky, and perhaps experience something even better.
Of course, perhaps all of this is just in my imagination, but it looks like it could become real. And I don’t remember having wished for it consciously either, must have been unconscious. But it still works, you can dream the life you want and it happens. So let’s wish a lot of happiness, at work as well. Let’s change our attitude and start to finally enjoy this life in Los Angeles. I do a little bit more every time I speak with my kiddo. Could it be that simple? Throw a little bit of love into the equation? Was Freud right?
posted by Mycroft Holmes @ 11:59 PM
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