Like a young actor who has not made it yet in Hollywood

Oh, what a day. Nothing of any significance happened, and yet I am dead. I spent last night helping Leonardo, my new friend in L.A., figuring out his piano (for god’s sake, he has that piano since 1997, and he still knows nothing about it). After that I helped him sending me the film script we are working on, even though he does that almost every day, 24 hours is enough for him to forget how to do this. And then I tried to help him sort out his antivirus. By the time we had finished, it was past 1 am.

I took two hours for lunch, but I still managed to work 30 minutes more tonight, to send many emails that should have been sent days ago. So it looks good.

I also got the chance to ask the Spanish guy, who has been flirting with me for weeks now, if he was gay or not. He said that he is as straight as they come. I find that hard to believe, however I believe it. So that is at least sorted.

The last two days he came at work dressing like some sort of young actor who has not made it yet. Funky, shorts, bubble hat, whatever. I asked him if he had a date or if it was for us that he decided to dress like that. For us apparently. And the Valley Girl had another one of her comments to make, she asked: what have you decided to wear today? Ah, you’re wearing everything!

He knows he is kind of cute, and he will take any flirting from anyone, even men. At the same time, the guy is fatter than me, so he can’t brag too much! Well, I’m not that fat, and he is not either, so he still has his sex appeal.

Today he referred again to the fact that he knew everything about me, that everyone knew. As if somehow they were aware of my blog and were all reading it. It made me freak out. I probed him, and he mentioned the word blog, about other of my readers having blogs about me (I did show him I think some people blogging about my books in Paris).

I think he realized he said too much and at that point he would have had to tell me that they were all reading my blog at work. At that moment, I would have deleted it. So he concocted that other excuse, that he was talking about others talking about me.

I believe he might have been talking about what the Black guy can read in the files I am sending myself home sometimes. That’s also possible. God knows.

Well, if they are all reading this blog, let’s give them something to chew on. All the girls at work are quite fat, and they are all buzzing around him, probably in love, but he is not interested. Yet, he loves the attention, he needs them to feel better about himself. And now he is exercising to lose weight. I wonder why, something must have changed, perhaps he is interested in someone after all, but not me, that’s for sure.

The only girls who are not fat in the office are the two Chinese girls and the wife of my boss. One of the Chinese girls is so annoying and rude, it does not really matter if she is not fat, she kinds of cancel the fact that she is not fat by her behavior.

The other one is so lovely, I could take her as my wife quite easily. At least she could become a friend, but I just don’t know how to make friends anymore, especially in a work environment. Anyway, I don’t have enough time for friends. Leonardo is already stretching me to the limits. And I have to remind him when it is just too much.

Oh God, I’m bored, I’m sick, I have to go to bed, it is merely 8 pm. I only live to work, I don’t write, I don’t read, I had only a beer, and a full plate of god knows what, thinking it would make me feel better, but now I’m ready to puke everywhere. What a sad unproductive life. Please someone just shoot me in the head!

I don’t even look forward to the weekend. I used to be so excited to regain my freedom, but my weekends are so boring, they have become as routine as my daily job in conferences.

Something has got to happen soon, before they find me dead drunk in my flat, weighting over 15 stones. Because I would have eaten and drunk myself to death for leading such an uninspiring life.

Just shoot me.