Should I tell the truth to my boss? How I really feel?
Time to go back to work. It is 5h39 in the morning. Already I am in a panic state. And I have done nothing in my full day off apart from writing this blog. It is certainly not my most interesting entry either. If I had gone to work, crisis might have brought an interesting entry, but I’m glad that if any crisis was awaiting me yesterday, I skipped that altogether.
But now, crisis might be what awaits me. That conference I’m working on is late. I know my boss is counting the minutes I am working in the office, one day off must bring him to a state of shear horror. He’ll probably jump on me at the first opportunity and say: come in the office please. And then I better have a good explanation for not showing up yesterday.
Should I tell him the truth? That I just can’t stand the office anymore and the people in it? That I was dead tired of having him sitting in my back, observing me all day to see if I am working or not? That the voice of the Director alone was enough for me to throw up everywhere? And that now I work with the Senior Manager and it is getting worse because he sits with us, and therefore always knows when I am not working? And what about your little spy, the Black guy, always, always walking behind me looking at my computer screen.
Should I tell him that the thought of going back yesterday was just too much and that I would have preferred anything else but one more day with them calling everywhere to ask for money? I had enough! I needed a day off from all this! I needed a day off from you! I could not face seeing your face again, it’s making me sick. That’s why I took a day off. And I feel the same today, but I have come, so you should be grateful.
Or else I’ll do like the other girl did last Friday, leave you at one minute’s notice. In fact she is the one who has encouraged me to take a day off. If this job is just too much for her, despite the fact that she was quite strong and intelligent, than it is by no mean an easy or nice job. And one day off won’t kill anyone, and might prevent me from reaching the point she reached when she decided just like that, that she had enough.
And then, I think they hired another guy, and one good look at him told me that this guy was not right, that he would never last a day. And he did not. I have not seen him after that. They are so bad at choosing the right employees. And their main problem, compared with London, is that there are no other conference companies in town, and so no one has any experience in this job. Not a clue about what it means. And so, they get that job, they thank God for the money, and then realize that it is the Devil that sent them there. And once they understand their misery, poof!, they’re gone.
I don’t see what they could do to correct the problem. Choose their employees better I guess for a start. People who are desperate enough to keep their job, if they have a house, cars, kids, whatever. Or suffer from discrimination and can’t find a job somewhere else. If I start my own business one day, I will be facing that exact problem. But I don’t want to think about that right now. I’ll take a bath, I’ll eat something, I’ll try not to be late for once, and I’ll go and face the music.
The work day is over now. It is becoming alarming how I just cannot stand the office anymore, and especially the Director who now supervises me contacting those sponsors, while he does not understand that dealing with the speakers and the brochure is already taking a lot of my time.
I showed a lot of impatience, especially when he asked me in his office at 30 seconds notice to discuss the sponsorship situation. Well, I needed to print my files first, and I told him quite rudely. I had 130 calls to make today, sales cold calling calls, and I did less than 20, because I had to deal with the speakers first.
He came to me in the afternoon, three hours later, while there was lunch in between, to ask me how many calls I’d made. Well, five. He was not happy, and he said: don’t bother calling them, it is too late now! And then he realized that my calls were not for the East coast, but the West coast, and he kind of wanted to apologize, and he came around to speak to Gloria, trying to be nice, and I just left the office for 10 minute, hoping he would be gone by the time I came back. I think he got the message loud and clear.
I am beyond caring now. If they wish to sack me, fine, I don’t care. I am seriously considering letting them know in exactly 20 days that I am out of here one month later, at the same time that I will tell the apartment people that I am not renewing my rent at the end of March.
It is very tempting to leave the company in 20 days, and remain here for one more month just writing and getting ready to start my own conference business. At least, when I will make a call to a potential sponsor, I will get the $7,000 all for myself, to be reinvested in my future events, my own company.
It is ridiculous, at the moment I am the producer, the marketer, the salesman, the sponsorship guy, the list finder, brochure designer, everything! The only thing I am not doing is emailing the people in the database or finding the contact details of the lists I find. And emailing the database would only take me a minute, so in the end, I’m doing everything. I might as well do it for myself.
Well, I don’t know if I could make more than $60,000 a year if I were to produce my own events, especially in the first few years, but I think it is worth the risk.
I will lose Los Angeles forever, but I have to be realistic. Nothing will happen here, I never even had the courage to try to meet people apart from Leonardo. And that might be it, all there is to it. Maybe he was the only person I needed to meet and eventually it will bear fruits.
In the meantime, I don’t think I would have understood that I could start my own business without coming to L.A. This is something they taught me, convinced me that it was time for me to take the plunge, and for that I should be grateful, and this trip of a few months here will not be in vain.
I am ready to go back to London in two months time, but not to get my old job back, but to start my own business. And that is exciting. The only question remaining is, should I play it safe and produce those same corporate events charging twice less than my competitors? Or should I go for not much money, the risky world of paranormal? Maybe I can do both?
God, and then it will be to decide which events to choose from, if I am about to do this for money instead of for fun. Telecoms? Pharmaceutical? Should I try to identify domains that have not yet been exploited? That will take forever… a lot of market research indeed. And every time I would hop into another field, that would mean hours of research for database building and identifying sponsors. The truth, is that I would feel much safer with a good loan and hiring people to do the dirty work. But I have to start slowly, doing everything myself, without any loans.
It is not going to be easy with that financial company overlooking all my money entries and expenses, because of my bankruptcy. They will have a heart attack when I tell them that I am leaving my job. They certainly did when I told them I was leaving for Los Angeles. Only the fact that my salary was much higher dampened their crisis. How am I going to do this? I don’t know. But I have to, somehow.
Oh dear, I would need a real miracle now to prevent me from going back to London and keep me in Los Angeles. A real one. And I don’t see what could happen in the next 20 days to change that, well, in the next 50 days to be more precise. The thing is, I love Los Angeles, I would love to remain longer. But not at the price of a job from hell. What a failure! Nothing new here!
But now, crisis might be what awaits me. That conference I’m working on is late. I know my boss is counting the minutes I am working in the office, one day off must bring him to a state of shear horror. He’ll probably jump on me at the first opportunity and say: come in the office please. And then I better have a good explanation for not showing up yesterday.
Should I tell him the truth? That I just can’t stand the office anymore and the people in it? That I was dead tired of having him sitting in my back, observing me all day to see if I am working or not? That the voice of the Director alone was enough for me to throw up everywhere? And that now I work with the Senior Manager and it is getting worse because he sits with us, and therefore always knows when I am not working? And what about your little spy, the Black guy, always, always walking behind me looking at my computer screen.
Should I tell him that the thought of going back yesterday was just too much and that I would have preferred anything else but one more day with them calling everywhere to ask for money? I had enough! I needed a day off from all this! I needed a day off from you! I could not face seeing your face again, it’s making me sick. That’s why I took a day off. And I feel the same today, but I have come, so you should be grateful.
Or else I’ll do like the other girl did last Friday, leave you at one minute’s notice. In fact she is the one who has encouraged me to take a day off. If this job is just too much for her, despite the fact that she was quite strong and intelligent, than it is by no mean an easy or nice job. And one day off won’t kill anyone, and might prevent me from reaching the point she reached when she decided just like that, that she had enough.
And then, I think they hired another guy, and one good look at him told me that this guy was not right, that he would never last a day. And he did not. I have not seen him after that. They are so bad at choosing the right employees. And their main problem, compared with London, is that there are no other conference companies in town, and so no one has any experience in this job. Not a clue about what it means. And so, they get that job, they thank God for the money, and then realize that it is the Devil that sent them there. And once they understand their misery, poof!, they’re gone.
I don’t see what they could do to correct the problem. Choose their employees better I guess for a start. People who are desperate enough to keep their job, if they have a house, cars, kids, whatever. Or suffer from discrimination and can’t find a job somewhere else. If I start my own business one day, I will be facing that exact problem. But I don’t want to think about that right now. I’ll take a bath, I’ll eat something, I’ll try not to be late for once, and I’ll go and face the music.
The work day is over now. It is becoming alarming how I just cannot stand the office anymore, and especially the Director who now supervises me contacting those sponsors, while he does not understand that dealing with the speakers and the brochure is already taking a lot of my time.
I showed a lot of impatience, especially when he asked me in his office at 30 seconds notice to discuss the sponsorship situation. Well, I needed to print my files first, and I told him quite rudely. I had 130 calls to make today, sales cold calling calls, and I did less than 20, because I had to deal with the speakers first.
He came to me in the afternoon, three hours later, while there was lunch in between, to ask me how many calls I’d made. Well, five. He was not happy, and he said: don’t bother calling them, it is too late now! And then he realized that my calls were not for the East coast, but the West coast, and he kind of wanted to apologize, and he came around to speak to Gloria, trying to be nice, and I just left the office for 10 minute, hoping he would be gone by the time I came back. I think he got the message loud and clear.
I am beyond caring now. If they wish to sack me, fine, I don’t care. I am seriously considering letting them know in exactly 20 days that I am out of here one month later, at the same time that I will tell the apartment people that I am not renewing my rent at the end of March.
It is very tempting to leave the company in 20 days, and remain here for one more month just writing and getting ready to start my own conference business. At least, when I will make a call to a potential sponsor, I will get the $7,000 all for myself, to be reinvested in my future events, my own company.
It is ridiculous, at the moment I am the producer, the marketer, the salesman, the sponsorship guy, the list finder, brochure designer, everything! The only thing I am not doing is emailing the people in the database or finding the contact details of the lists I find. And emailing the database would only take me a minute, so in the end, I’m doing everything. I might as well do it for myself.
Well, I don’t know if I could make more than $60,000 a year if I were to produce my own events, especially in the first few years, but I think it is worth the risk.
I will lose Los Angeles forever, but I have to be realistic. Nothing will happen here, I never even had the courage to try to meet people apart from Leonardo. And that might be it, all there is to it. Maybe he was the only person I needed to meet and eventually it will bear fruits.
In the meantime, I don’t think I would have understood that I could start my own business without coming to L.A. This is something they taught me, convinced me that it was time for me to take the plunge, and for that I should be grateful, and this trip of a few months here will not be in vain.
I am ready to go back to London in two months time, but not to get my old job back, but to start my own business. And that is exciting. The only question remaining is, should I play it safe and produce those same corporate events charging twice less than my competitors? Or should I go for not much money, the risky world of paranormal? Maybe I can do both?
God, and then it will be to decide which events to choose from, if I am about to do this for money instead of for fun. Telecoms? Pharmaceutical? Should I try to identify domains that have not yet been exploited? That will take forever… a lot of market research indeed. And every time I would hop into another field, that would mean hours of research for database building and identifying sponsors. The truth, is that I would feel much safer with a good loan and hiring people to do the dirty work. But I have to start slowly, doing everything myself, without any loans.
It is not going to be easy with that financial company overlooking all my money entries and expenses, because of my bankruptcy. They will have a heart attack when I tell them that I am leaving my job. They certainly did when I told them I was leaving for Los Angeles. Only the fact that my salary was much higher dampened their crisis. How am I going to do this? I don’t know. But I have to, somehow.
Oh dear, I would need a real miracle now to prevent me from going back to London and keep me in Los Angeles. A real one. And I don’t see what could happen in the next 20 days to change that, well, in the next 50 days to be more precise. The thing is, I love Los Angeles, I would love to remain longer. But not at the price of a job from hell. What a failure! Nothing new here!
posted by Mycroft Holmes @ 11:13 PM
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