A writing career is not compatible with a full time job in the corporate world
It is now the morning, just got up, it is 7h30. I woke up not knowing where I was, thinking it was Saturday, and then the reality hit me that it was only Tuesday and I had to go to work for another four days.
I could not stand the idea, I called in sick. A four day week is more what I can sustain in my life at the moment, with all the other projects I am working on, film scripts, blogs, other books I am writing, that conference business I want to start, etc.
In London it was easier to be sick, or to miss a day, or to work from home once in a while. Poor Americans, here it is impossible to miss a day even when you are sick. I will lose $250 for not going to work today, it is a lot of money, and I will suffer next month because of it. But it is well worth it.
I have been working like a dog for months, five days a week, the longest hours I have ever done, lots of overtime during the weekends, no holiday over Christmas to speak of. And meeting Leonardo for one day over the weekend, is like another day of work. So I always find myself in a situation where I have only one day to decompress and hence I end up not doing any work on my own projects.
And the thing is, I feel sick today. It is not the salad that I blamed to the girl I just spoke to at work, it is those Molson Canadian beers I bought yesterday. I do like the taste, but it always takes me a while to get use to Canadian beers after a long time passed without drinking any. I’ve got 24 of those things, not sure how I will go through them. My stomach better get use to it fast.
So, if I am to lose that much money today, I better make sure I use my time wisely. I will sleep this morning as long as I can. I won’t watch any Star Trek or TV, I will either work on my latest film script or my conference business. I will not be able to use that excuse that I don’t feel like it because I am too tired, that I’d rather just die on my bed doing nothing. Tuesday is too close to the weekend for that, I decompressed on Sunday.
Today I should be fine. Even if I am sick. God, I’m going back to bed. Perhaps today I should stay in bed all day, contemplate the ceiling for hours. Maybe read a few Sherlock Holmes stories. I think I would need a whole week off to decompress from all that I went through the last few months.
It is so nice to take a day off. I was awakened by two Mexicans who wanted to test the smoke detector and change the filters of the air conditioning. Good thing I was here, I don’t like to have people in my apartment as if this was a hotel. And I would have forgotten to turn the switch so they could come in in the first place. Though I’m sure they would have been able to get in anyway, as they did when it was time to take all my domestic appliances when I switched from fully furnished to semi-furnished at the end of my first month here.
I am still very tired. I might go to bed again. It is so nice to have a day off without the guilt. I cannot feel guilty if I am not getting paid. I feel I have the right to take a day off whenever I want if I am willing to lose money for it.
Money is not everything, and it is useless at any rate if you are working all the time and cannot enjoy it. But yeah, for the first time in m life I took a day off work when I could have gone in, and I don’t feel any guilt at all. It is a great feeling.
The thing is, sometimes you need a day off for your own mental or psychological stability. When you are so wired into all these similar days, and at some point cannot see the end of the tunnel, a way out. It is a lot of pressure on your mind, and your mind can be as sick as your body. And a day off is all is required sometimes to calm you down. Help you continue with this routine the next day. Because you feel you had a break, you changed your mind.
And it is a wonderful day! If I were not supposed to be sick, I might consider going for a swim. But it is too dangerous, my boss’ wife plays tennis here sometimes, she could see me, freak out and sack me instantly. I would not want that now, would I?
It is now 7h37 pm. I slept all day. Perhaps I was sick after all, huge headache, surely it cannot be the three Molson Canadian I drank yesterday. Could it be a lack of sleep? I slept a lot on Sunday, in fact I did very much then what I did today.
So there you are, I did nothing today, no writing whatsoever, even if for one minute there I thought I was going to work on my theoretical physics theories.
This just confirmed what I was saying, that working full time in conferences is something I cannot mix with anything else. I can only work my 40 hours, do my overtime when it is needed, and then forget everything else. Writing is something I cannot even do in my spare time, because that spare time is spent sleeping and decompressing, if not getting ready to go back to work the next day.
I hope there will be better times for my writing career, because it is just about to get back to zero for a while. Until such time when I can work on it full time. I fear sometimes that it might never happen. I am killing myself right now over this, my health is deteriorating. I have headaches, I am a zombie at work, I feel overworked and stressed. Working on my way out is something I simply don’t have the time for. And it is sad.
I could not stand the idea, I called in sick. A four day week is more what I can sustain in my life at the moment, with all the other projects I am working on, film scripts, blogs, other books I am writing, that conference business I want to start, etc.
In London it was easier to be sick, or to miss a day, or to work from home once in a while. Poor Americans, here it is impossible to miss a day even when you are sick. I will lose $250 for not going to work today, it is a lot of money, and I will suffer next month because of it. But it is well worth it.
I have been working like a dog for months, five days a week, the longest hours I have ever done, lots of overtime during the weekends, no holiday over Christmas to speak of. And meeting Leonardo for one day over the weekend, is like another day of work. So I always find myself in a situation where I have only one day to decompress and hence I end up not doing any work on my own projects.
And the thing is, I feel sick today. It is not the salad that I blamed to the girl I just spoke to at work, it is those Molson Canadian beers I bought yesterday. I do like the taste, but it always takes me a while to get use to Canadian beers after a long time passed without drinking any. I’ve got 24 of those things, not sure how I will go through them. My stomach better get use to it fast.
So, if I am to lose that much money today, I better make sure I use my time wisely. I will sleep this morning as long as I can. I won’t watch any Star Trek or TV, I will either work on my latest film script or my conference business. I will not be able to use that excuse that I don’t feel like it because I am too tired, that I’d rather just die on my bed doing nothing. Tuesday is too close to the weekend for that, I decompressed on Sunday.
Today I should be fine. Even if I am sick. God, I’m going back to bed. Perhaps today I should stay in bed all day, contemplate the ceiling for hours. Maybe read a few Sherlock Holmes stories. I think I would need a whole week off to decompress from all that I went through the last few months.
It is so nice to take a day off. I was awakened by two Mexicans who wanted to test the smoke detector and change the filters of the air conditioning. Good thing I was here, I don’t like to have people in my apartment as if this was a hotel. And I would have forgotten to turn the switch so they could come in in the first place. Though I’m sure they would have been able to get in anyway, as they did when it was time to take all my domestic appliances when I switched from fully furnished to semi-furnished at the end of my first month here.
I am still very tired. I might go to bed again. It is so nice to have a day off without the guilt. I cannot feel guilty if I am not getting paid. I feel I have the right to take a day off whenever I want if I am willing to lose money for it.
Money is not everything, and it is useless at any rate if you are working all the time and cannot enjoy it. But yeah, for the first time in m life I took a day off work when I could have gone in, and I don’t feel any guilt at all. It is a great feeling.
The thing is, sometimes you need a day off for your own mental or psychological stability. When you are so wired into all these similar days, and at some point cannot see the end of the tunnel, a way out. It is a lot of pressure on your mind, and your mind can be as sick as your body. And a day off is all is required sometimes to calm you down. Help you continue with this routine the next day. Because you feel you had a break, you changed your mind.
And it is a wonderful day! If I were not supposed to be sick, I might consider going for a swim. But it is too dangerous, my boss’ wife plays tennis here sometimes, she could see me, freak out and sack me instantly. I would not want that now, would I?
It is now 7h37 pm. I slept all day. Perhaps I was sick after all, huge headache, surely it cannot be the three Molson Canadian I drank yesterday. Could it be a lack of sleep? I slept a lot on Sunday, in fact I did very much then what I did today.
So there you are, I did nothing today, no writing whatsoever, even if for one minute there I thought I was going to work on my theoretical physics theories.
This just confirmed what I was saying, that working full time in conferences is something I cannot mix with anything else. I can only work my 40 hours, do my overtime when it is needed, and then forget everything else. Writing is something I cannot even do in my spare time, because that spare time is spent sleeping and decompressing, if not getting ready to go back to work the next day.
I hope there will be better times for my writing career, because it is just about to get back to zero for a while. Until such time when I can work on it full time. I fear sometimes that it might never happen. I am killing myself right now over this, my health is deteriorating. I have headaches, I am a zombie at work, I feel overworked and stressed. Working on my way out is something I simply don’t have the time for. And it is sad.
posted by Mycroft Holmes @ 8:00 PM
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